• Brit Awards 2013

    music piece - brits 2013 main

      This year really should have been all about One Direction’s hair. It should have been a camera-trained tribute to the five gleaming superstar pompadours sitting on their polished heads like official pop-star halos. They should have opened the show, should have exploded from beneath the stage in a humid…

  • Teenage Scream : Hollyoaks & Tea-time Rape Culture


      Telly teen girls will always be commodities.  Ever since poor old Nabokov gave the lazy architects of tea-time droolfests a teasing template, there has been the slippery of lip, bony of hip, school uniform seductress, a bit of ‘innocent’ distraction for the Dads to make soap-time bearable. This used…

  • A.A Gill & Guilty Pleasures


      Never has a phrase made me dissolve into tears of righteous anger quicker than ‘Guilty Pleasure’.  Guilty BLOODY Pleasures, what self hating simpleton thought this up?  How utterly, miserably Catholic to have to feel shame and turmoil about quite liking something that’s not deemed retro enough to be ironic….

  • Pop Life: Loving Laverne


      Heroes seem to come in colossal form.  Giant-size tornadoes of drama like Bowie, Dylan, Morrissey that whisked into your tiny life in the nick of time to save you from dingy normality and focus you on to the path to  secret brilliance that no-one had yet recognised.  They were…

  • Tom Jones – Mr. Saturday Night

    Tom Jones

    He looked so bewildered. Forcing a benign grin during the opening plod of I Gotta Feeling as Jessie J draped herself over him and prowled the stage looking like she was auditioning for Cats Innit? (The urban musical), a human Christmas cracker sounding as though she thought Fergie’s vocal performance…

  • Bret Easton Ellis – Pop Culture King


      We live in a world where Kanye describes his sartorial superiority in relentless, irrelevant detail down to his monogrammed socks, where every stare, blink and perfectly pouty punctuation pause by those Hills girls have taken on some kind of existentialist meaning and have seeped into our very being. Where…

  • Winona Forever

    March 12, 2012 ALL ARTICLES, FILM & TV 0 Comment

    Kook. Everyone’s at it these days. Everyone wants the edge, from Zooey twirling around in her tea dresses big eyes a-blinking to Kat Dennings and her oh-so-strange Christopher Walken obsession and all the fake glasses wearing starlets in-between, we’ve reached the apex of odd. This sweet, fashion magazine version of…

  • Brit Awards 2012


    Ah The Brits, the only place where James Corden is still considered mildly amusing. The charisma void was on hosting duties again last night looking like he was auditioning for Bugsy Malone sounding as if he was made up of all the extra bits of smug that had fallen off…

  • MTV EMAS 2011

    November 08, 2011 ALL ARTICLES, FILM & TV, GAGA, MUSIC 0 Comment
    Lady Gaga MTV EMA Europe Music Awards 2011

    Remember when the EMAs mostly consisted of VJ Simone on the red carpet in some ludicrous latex affair being crushed by various members of Die Toten Hosen? She’d slur something terrifically intoxicating into the camera, it’d cut back to an unawares Ray Cokes having a scratch before finally treating us…

  • MTV VMAS 2011


    Yes, MTV still hold award ceremonies no, not for ‘Best Pregnant 16 Year Old’ , ‘Most Vacant Stare (Hills Cast Special)’ or “Negative Stereotype of the Year” but for actual music videos, y’know the ones they never show anymore…   The VMAs are supposed to be ever so controversial, ever…