Ranniversary : Calvin Harris,a pineapple & Jedward

February 19, 2012 Categories: ALL ARTICLES, KYLIE, MUSIC, RANNIVERSARY, STUFF by No comments yet


*Ranniversary: Why wait for a decade to celebrate those seminal moments in pop history?

It’s been 3 years and 3 months since this happened…

It’s lucky Calvin Harris is so tall because most folks just can’t reach him to slap the head off him. You know that’s what Kylie was thinking half the time she was working with him especially as he claimed he was not her ‘production bitch’ or what Katy Perry thought when he griped about her touring set up. Roisin Murphy when he called her a ‘ crazy twat’ for not using his amazing songs for her album, Dragonette for telling them to ‘fuck off’  because they didn’t enjoy a remix he’d done for them or every sentient human being when he decided to jump on stage during one of Jedward’s performances with a pineapple on his head as a protest against X Factor being a ‘stupid joke of a television programme’.  A stupid television programme that he had already agreed to be on presumably for a stupid fee.

He’s gradually turning into the new JK although minus the Windowlicker looks. Constantly hard done by, a martyr for his ‘cause’ (errr mouthy, lanky DJs?) and ridiculously full of his own importance. We can thank our lucky stars that Jedward recovered from this incident to become the malfunctioning A.I. Real Boy robots that we know and are slightly afraid of and Calvin went off to pick a fight with a more worthy opponent Mr. Chris Brown… if only both could be destroyed in some DJing pineapple related incident. Sigh.


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