Singles Review: Beyonce – Runs The World (Girls)

What in the name of Jay-Z(us) is going on? Yes, that’s Beyoncé singing over Major Lazer’s Pon De Floor like she’s gone into one of those make-your-own-record booths in the Ilac Centre to amuse herself of a wet Wednesday. B has taken a trip to Wonder Woman island on this latest ode to Glamazonian Girldom.

It’s a fist pumping, wonky, sweary, sweaty beast of a thing, that rises and rises like the vomit in the throat of a grizzled bride on her hen night. It meanders around in a half arsed fashion, doing not much and saying even less, apart from ‘Yay! Girls! Yay!’ in a frantic, frazzled, utterly empty manner. Expect it to feature in a future Boots ad where groups of leather clad women bound around city centres destroying unshaven men with their robo-death eyes.

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